It’s That Time Again

 

 

The New Year’s Resolution. I have mixed feelings about this. I used to make resolutions every year, somehow feeling it was the right thing to do, and that I was on the road to self-improvement. Each January I forgave myself for not achieving all my personal goals in the previous year and set out to do better in the following one.

In the 70’s I read Erica Jong, in the 80’s Wayne Dyer and in the 90’s Anthony Robbins. I focused each New Year on making the changes that would, I was sure, result in my becoming more successful in my personal and professional life. In retrospect I’m not sure I really had a clear idea as to what it was that I was aspiring. “To become more successful”. What does that really mean? It certainly means something different to me now than it did in 1970. It was different again in 1980 and had changed, yet again, in 1990.

I know from my years in the work force that it is imperative to set goals in order to stay focused. Structure is needed in the workplace, and to a certain extent in the home, particularly when you are juggling a family and a full-time job. Still my preoccupation with setting myself, often unrealistic, goals and resolutions really served only to set myself up for failure, the ultimate result of which was dissatisfaction with my performance and slowly ebbing confidence. Enter Wayne Dyer and Tony Robbins.

If one year one of my resolutions was to lose 25 pounds, and I somehow managed to accomplish it, the result was spending too much money on new clothes, prompting me to make a resolution the following year to make more money. It seems to me that I was just chasing my tail. For 3 decades I struggled to achieve that elusive “success” without really understanding what that meant to me.

Success, like everything else, is relative. In my youth I should have paid more attention to Albert Einstein than Tony Robbins. I no longer make resolutions. I left those behind when I ran away from home 7 years ago. I judge success in my life differently as well. I derive satisfaction from helping others, from living for today, as my Mexican friends have taught me, and from finding joy in the beauty and the people around me. I am happier now and no longer require resolutions to improve myself or my life.

I have learned a lot from Mexico and the wonderful people here. How do you feel about resolutions? I would welcome other ideas and opinions.